Thursday, March 6, 2008

Nigerian Men (tality) 2


One night, in summer, I got a missed call from a some random number. Thinking it was 'someone' I knew I called back only to find out that it was a payphone (like the roadside ones). I was expecting a phone call that night so I was kinda pissed.


Later, I received a call from another number I still couldn't recognize. Only to pick and hear some husky girly voice. It sounded like a tomboy I knew in school( but why in the world was she calling me at 11pm?) I couldn't really hear what she was saying and hung up. Later that night, I got this text from the number asking to "be my friend."

(wahala dey!)

I was like "who is this? do I know you?"I was just wasting my credit. Lol! Before I knew, the person sent a text saying "the sun is shining why don't you come out a and talk to me a little." I found out that it was a dude. A total stranger and I was confident that this wasn't a prank His husky-girly voice was already a turn-off so page closed zero-chances for solar reactions (get the joke?)

I don't go out a lot. At least folks don't see me when I do. Clearly this guy lived near my house and knew someone who knows me very well. Through my investigative-detector runs, I found out the pay phone he use to call me. His personal phone number got the personalized british accented "an idiot is calling" ringtone. For the first time, I could actually use the insulting ringtone for a contact on my phone. He used to alternate between payphone and personal cell phone but I insisted on cracking down this dude. I even sent the our maid to lurk around the payphone area any time I knew he was calling with that particular phone.


Anyway, the guy will sit near my house, call me to say that I should come out the house to see him. Someone I don't know? Biko! He even knew when my dad drove in and out of the house. He said he was "new in the 'hood and trying to make friends." Na by force? I could either be raped, kidnapped or something scary 'cause this is a COMPLETE stranger I don't know and have never seen before. For real! I didn't think like that back then but what if???

(stalker alert !!!)

One day when my phone was blasting "an idiot is calling" and I was sure he was at that payphone place, I went there to "buy credit/top=up card." For one pimpled guy (4/10) to walk up to me and say that he was the dude that has been calling. He wasn't even fine Its not that 'fineness' is the most important feature but with a stalker attitude, the brit "idiot" ringtone was warranted. I gave him one red eye and one sentence and then crossed the road.

(Mission accomplished)

He hardly called in the next few days. Not like I picked when he did but one day, he called and said "babygyalll, why haven't you been picking my calls!" Thats when I lost it completely. I hate those words 'baby girl.' I hung up and Precious never called again.

"Sorry Patience, no vacancy. This yarinya is unavailable" no I didn't say that though.

Did I mention his name was Precious?

How did he even get my number?

I found out a year after that he knew my neighbour whom I suspect gave him the digits. I also saw him when I went to buy 'credit' last summer. I forgot his face and recognized him as soon as I heard his voice. He was asking for the 'school' fees in universities in London. That was the end of the conversation.

I don't even go to school in london. Can't he google search instead of making up some lame question?


Nigerian Men (tality)!

The LaLa for today.



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