Friday, March 28, 2008


I've have personally been complaining about how bloggers have not been updating. Then I realized I also blogged too. kai! Its been some helluva past few days. My Uncle left after easter monday and one thing with Nigerian uncles is they always leave some 'canji' (Hausa for change as per money) so 'godiya' (thanksgiving).

I'm seriously searching for a plane ticket to go home. The only good ticket I've found is a Lufthansa that takes me to Germany then Equatorial Guinea? That makes me 'na wa' in my head but I want to fly British Airways. last year I got a mega-cheap ticket from BA under $1400 return ticket to Abuja for more than 2months duration I dunno why this year is proving difficult.

Anyway, Niyi Tabiti has been stealing blog ville show for the past few weeks with gist from Nollywood and LA (as per!). I'm personally addicted a Perez meets E!news..I Like!

I saw the Most Beautiful girl in Nigeria contestants and the fact that 7o% of them came from one ethnic group bothered me. I love Igbos but kai whats up with Igbo girls represented ALL of the northern states. Even the ones with full-fledged Sharia had some hoochy looking photos.

Here, I know a true Alabama girl will rep Alabama with her southern-country accent the way a Hawaiian will and Rhode Islander....I don't like the lack of diversity but since they've accused us of having 'high morals' according to a comment on BellaNaija, Za mu huta (we'll rest).

I'll catch up small on blogging soon.

Take care!

Saturday, March 22, 2008


This was my final pick. The one I loved the most went out of syock so these two. I find it hard choosing between the sleeves?

Which color?

I'm so undecisive but I might end up with the secong one though the sleeves don't seem timeless to me.

Happy Easter weekend.

I had an argument with one of my best-est buddies (dudes eh?)

My weekend has been rough I need to go counselling next week (Kolo alert?)

Please pray for me.

My uncle is coming from Abuja to visit so thats one good thing this weekend.

The lala oh!.

God's blessing y'all!!!!!

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Nigerian Folktale: ANANSI AND TURTLE

Author: unknown
Courtesy of MotherLand Nigeria's website.

One day Anansi the spider picked some very fat and tasty yams from his garden. He baked them with much care and they came out smelling quite delicious. He could not wait to sit down and eat them.

Just then there was a knock at his door. It was Turtle, who had been traveling all day and was very tired and hungry.

"Hello, Anansi," said Turtle. "I have been walking for so long, and I smelled the most delicious yams I've ever smelled. Would you be so kind as to share your meal with me?"

Anansi could not refuse, as it was the custom in his country to share your meal with visitors at mealtime. But he was not very happy, for Anansi was a little too greedy and wanted the delicious yams all to himself. So Anansi thought to himself and came up with a scheme.

"Please do come in, Turtle. I would be honored to have you as my guest this evening. Sit down, have a chair and help yourself."

Turtle came inside and sat down, but just as he reached for a yam, Anansi yelled, "Turtle, don't you know better than to come to the table with dirty hands?"

Turtle looked down at his hands and saw that they were filthy. He had been crawling all day and had not had a chance to clean up. Turtle got up and went to the river to clean his feet. He walked all the way back up to the house and Anansi had already begun to eat.

"I didn't want these tasty yams to get cold, so I had to begin," said Anansi. "But please do join me now, Turtle."

Turtle sat down again and reached for a yam, but again Anansi yelled at him.

"Turtle, did you not hear me before? It is not polite to come to the table with dirty hands!"

He looked down and saw that his clean hands had turned dirty once more, since he had to crawl on them to get back to the house. So he walked down to the river once more to wash himself off. And when he returned this time, he was careful to walk on the grass so his hands would stay clean. But by the time he sat down at the table, Anansi had finished up the last bit of the tasty yams and not so much as a morsel was left.

Turtle looked at Anansi for a moment and then said, "Thank you for sharing your meal with me. If you ever find yourself near my house, please let me return the favor." And then he slowly walked out the door and continued on his way. The days went by and Anansi thought more and more of that meal that Turtle had offered. He got more and more interested in a free dinner and finally could not stand it anymore. He set off one day to find Turtle's house.

He found Turtle sunning himself on a riverbank just around dinnertime.

Turtle looked up and saw him and said, "Hello, Anansi, have you come to share evening meal with me?"

"Oh yes, yes!" said Anansi, who was growing hungrier and hungrier by the minute. Turtle went underwater to his house to set up the dinner table for the two of them. Soon he came back to the bank and said, "Your place is waiting and the food is ready. Please join me, Anansi."

And then he dived underwater and began to slowly eat his meal.

Anansi jumped into the water, but could not get down to the bottom of the river. He tried to swim down, but he was so light that he kept popping back up to the surface.

He tried diving. He tried belly flops. He tried a running jump, but nothing would help him get down to the river bottom.

In the meantime, Turtle was slowly eating his meal.

Anansi was not about to give up a free meal, and was running around wondering what he would do. Finally he had an idea. He started grabbing stones and rocks and stuffed them into his jacket pockets.

Now when he jumped into the water he sank right down to the bottom and was able to take his place at the table.

The table was so beautiful and full of delicious foods. Anansi could hardly believe how many tasty foods were before him and could not wait to start his meal.

But just as he reached for the first morsel, Turtle stopped eating and spoke. "In my country, we do not wear our jackets to the table." Anansi noticed that Turtle had removed his own jacket before sitting down. Anansi started to remove his jacket, and as soon as it was off of his shoulders, he went zooming back up to the surface and popped out onto the riverbank. He stuck his head down into the water and saw Turtle slowly enjoying that wonderful banquet.

Moral of the story: When you try to outsmart someone, you may find that you're the one outsmarted.

The LaLa for today: I couldn't stop but giggle for a lil' thinking of my frequent experience with 9ja fellows trying to pull stunts on me. Anyway, forget Nigerian stereotypes and lets stop ripping each other off 'cause you'll be ripped off too. Lol!


Thursday, March 13, 2008

Soul E and Queen Ure

Everyone in Nigeria has probably heard about this couple and their 12.5 years age gap with former banker, Queen Ure being the older one or 'couger' as Hollywood calls Demi Moore and co. Check the gossip sections for the full gist.

Blogger Niyi Tabiti did a post on them:

Recently, Funmi Iyanda's talk show, New Dawn, featured Soul E and Queen Ure to talk about their 'controversial' marriage and rising Church ministry. Honestly, the interview has altered my thinking a bit.


Great vids!

The Lala today... and I finally went to the mall and got one white ruffled top but still pick one of the ruffled tops from my last post so I can order one or two more online.

Have a blessed weekend!


Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Ruffled and Tumbled.....

I have my spring break so its lazying around for me...TV, blogging, Facebooking, Window Shopping online, Calling, Daydreaming of ..., cooking, reading and sleeping.

I need office wear even though I don't have an internship yet. So I've been exploring online but I seriously need a 'serious' trip to the mall ASAP!

So ruffles are my new addiction. I spend hours looking for ruffled tops online. The only problem is I can't find my size (XS) Extra Small in my fav stores or in superb good quality. If you read my Polyester Debate post, you'll know that I'm trying to give up polyester and 'unknown' fabrics and going more natural and quality- Cotton, Linen and Silk unless otherwise not mentioned on the clothes tag.

Here's my fav ruffled blouses. They are all either cotton or cotton-silk blends. So please help me.

Which are your picks?

#1 kinda my least fav...but I lack blue in my closet so its an option

#2 this is tres fabulosa y muy bonita (very chic)

#3 I absolutely love the 'subtle' ruffling (grammar chei!)

#4 (same as #3 just different color.)

#5 I love this one but lunch time stew stains can't ruin a fashionista's reputation in Cashmere Mafia mode...Naaa! I still love it (mega LOL!)

#6 this one will prevent palm oil stains.

Courtesy: Forever 21 website

Alternatively, my tailor in Abuja can imitate these and sew me new ruffled tops to perfect fit (Kai, these Nigerian people!!!) Even those Mallams in y'all work/internship (check last post-Nigerian Men (tality) case 4) will be submitting their CVs and Resumes (Hiss and LOL)

Shebi the Tailor can nail the job? All I need is fabrics (Walmart fabric section, here I come).

What do y'all think? The best? Suggest any websites too please.

Now I need blazers (I saw Tigerbites' post. Damn this material world????)

The LaLa sha,


Nigerian Men (tality) series will be continued...Cases 1, 2 and 3 so far More 'Cases' and ranting of an under 21 yarinya (girl) to come....

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Nigerian Men (tality) 3

Just in case you're wondering, I'm trying to recall and narrate awkward hit-on encounters from the perspective of an under 21yr old. This is the fourth case against our my 9ja fellas, mallams and brodas.


Last summer, when I was interning at a financial institution, I met 2 Mallam-Alhaji dudes (my papa figures right? coming from the same region). Wait before I get there, Everyone claimed I looked 12 or 14 age wise (I did a post about those who looked younger than their real ages in AGELESS BEAUTIES) and I've heard I don't look 'northern' so keep that in mind for the continuing story (Did a post on HAUSA Stereotypes).

Anyway, despite being seen as a kiddo at work, these two mallams decided I was old, vacant and fit enough. (HISS!) Mallam A. came to get a loan or something that had nothing to do with my department but somehow, he was always lurking around talking to one of my unit's bosses (a Hausa man too). So after two days of coming to the bank, He finally caught me while I was filing documents. Stylishly, swiftly, and sharply, he asked,

"whats your name?"

For the sake of customer service and of course respect for elders I told him my English first name. Then he said

"So,...I am interested can I apply?"

In my mind, I'm like " apply for a job, or a loan?"


In reality it hit me "honey, he just hit on you, a 14yr old look-alike. Paedo-!!!"

I don't know what he was thinking and the benefits attached to a sucessful application but I left the filing to find work else where. He spent the next 2 or 3 hours chilling in the visitors room sending another intern to call me. Unfortunately, I had errands in that area so I did 'matrix' back and forth.

Anyway, I eventually had to face him and started intentionally started speaking hausa. He was shocked to his bones. Sorry, I'm going to be stereotypical but did he think I was some loose-ass omoge tryna sip Alhaji- Sugar daddy's liquidity (economics joke. Lol! byw, liquidity means cash availability). The Hausa was good shocker already so I'll be calling my Baba to ship him to 'Kano courts' if he continues submitting 'applications.'

Finally, the chica he sent to call me (for the tenth time or something) delivered his 'application' message in front of one of my bosses (the hausa man I mentioned earlier). He asked "whatsup?" and I told him. See vexing oh! Anyway, the news kinda spread and people tried to protect me from the dude without spoiling any show.

Imagine, somebody everyone thought was 14yrs old getting 'applications' from grown ass obviously married mallams? Thats my problem- the age factor. So in his eyes (without asking me) I looked like a 23yr old vacancy? I don't understand. Trying to find he's daughter's agemate to add to his harem. He better hit reset button and find legitimate vacancy 'cause qualifications are lacking.

May God forgive his intentions.

More on Mallam B.

The LaLa so far,...


Thursday, March 6, 2008

Nigerian Men (tality) 2


One night, in summer, I got a missed call from a some random number. Thinking it was 'someone' I knew I called back only to find out that it was a payphone (like the roadside ones). I was expecting a phone call that night so I was kinda pissed.


Later, I received a call from another number I still couldn't recognize. Only to pick and hear some husky girly voice. It sounded like a tomboy I knew in school( but why in the world was she calling me at 11pm?) I couldn't really hear what she was saying and hung up. Later that night, I got this text from the number asking to "be my friend."

(wahala dey!)

I was like "who is this? do I know you?"I was just wasting my credit. Lol! Before I knew, the person sent a text saying "the sun is shining why don't you come out a and talk to me a little." I found out that it was a dude. A total stranger and I was confident that this wasn't a prank His husky-girly voice was already a turn-off so page closed zero-chances for solar reactions (get the joke?)

I don't go out a lot. At least folks don't see me when I do. Clearly this guy lived near my house and knew someone who knows me very well. Through my investigative-detector runs, I found out the pay phone he use to call me. His personal phone number got the personalized british accented "an idiot is calling" ringtone. For the first time, I could actually use the insulting ringtone for a contact on my phone. He used to alternate between payphone and personal cell phone but I insisted on cracking down this dude. I even sent the our maid to lurk around the payphone area any time I knew he was calling with that particular phone.


Anyway, the guy will sit near my house, call me to say that I should come out the house to see him. Someone I don't know? Biko! He even knew when my dad drove in and out of the house. He said he was "new in the 'hood and trying to make friends." Na by force? I could either be raped, kidnapped or something scary 'cause this is a COMPLETE stranger I don't know and have never seen before. For real! I didn't think like that back then but what if???

(stalker alert !!!)

One day when my phone was blasting "an idiot is calling" and I was sure he was at that payphone place, I went there to "buy credit/top=up card." For one pimpled guy (4/10) to walk up to me and say that he was the dude that has been calling. He wasn't even fine Its not that 'fineness' is the most important feature but with a stalker attitude, the brit "idiot" ringtone was warranted. I gave him one red eye and one sentence and then crossed the road.

(Mission accomplished)

He hardly called in the next few days. Not like I picked when he did but one day, he called and said "babygyalll, why haven't you been picking my calls!" Thats when I lost it completely. I hate those words 'baby girl.' I hung up and Precious never called again.

"Sorry Patience, no vacancy. This yarinya is unavailable" no I didn't say that though.

Did I mention his name was Precious?

How did he even get my number?

I found out a year after that he knew my neighbour whom I suspect gave him the digits. I also saw him when I went to buy 'credit' last summer. I forgot his face and recognized him as soon as I heard his voice. He was asking for the 'school' fees in universities in London. That was the end of the conversation.

I don't even go to school in london. Can't he google search instead of making up some lame question?


Nigerian Men (tality)!

The LaLa for today.


Saturday, March 1, 2008

Nigerian Men (tality)- Part 1

I have issues with typical Nigerian men-boys-guys. I'm feminist in a Nigerian sense and believe me I don't hate them oh. I'm talking about the ones that fit the stereotype of the overpowering, exploitative, and the disrespectful toward women.

"listen to me woman!!!!,"

"I can't marry you, you can't cook, wash plates or mop floors"

"baby gyallll, my wife!!!" (to a five, ten, or sixteen year old)

I'll pass out quoting those irritating statements.

In addition, fingers in sinful motions, dilated pupils, lips getting moisturized by tongue licking = one word, "Eiiiwwww"

After graduation from secondary school (when every teenage girl thinks its her time to become a big chic), I met this girl from my graduating class. She was looking posh, a little older but she was only sixteen after enduring the ugliness we we're subjected to in boarding school, it was easy to conclude that she was smoking or whatever adjectives you can use.

Anyway, we talked for a bit and the issue of guys hitting on her came up. This 'wayyyy' older guy was chatting her up and she made it claer that she was only SIXTEEN years old and too young for him. His response?

"The younger the better."

The dude wasn't a teeneger but a grown ass man, thats my problem.PAEDOPHILE! What were his motives with my dear girlfriend?

"The younger the better??" WTHell????

See my problem.

Or in the market. Wuse market in abuja for example. I only wear huge bou-bous to go there now. No makeup and if possible, no earrings and a headtie. 'Cause those agboro boys will touch the 'ish' out of you with the aim of "come and buy my fine tops."

HELLO? I'm in a boubou honey, I don't need your tops. At least talk to me DON'T touch me.

So last summer, I was in the market with my mum to buy some stuff. I was lagging behind because some "boys" we're freaking the crap out of me. This one dude was pulling my arm trying to get me to buy a handbag telling me how 'fine' I was and if I was 'vacant'. I can't write everything here but I considered what was going on to be verbal and physical molestation of a mild sort though (BTW, I react to unwanted and unwarranted touch so at this point in time, I'm feeling abused).

Anyway, I got a full dose of nonsense and called out my mum, who was walking straight ahead of me doing her thing. In hausa I said "Mummy, ga dan iskan nan fa?" (see this crazy guy). She stepped back and by reflex, used her handbag to hit the guy. It lasted 3 seconds. The guy got the point. All the other market guys started scolding the dude since clearly, he's the one at fault.

I love my Mum.

More gist from the marketplace, church, locality and workplace.

See 9ja guys-boys-men oh! Not all though but can't anyone step away from being defined by stereotypes? I'm only writing this because I only go through those wierd hit-on encounters in 9ja.

More bashing to come. No, I adore my buddies so I'll call it criticism. Not all fit in this bracket I'll be placing folks in the next few days.



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